The Role of Self-Handicapping in Teaching Kids - A Guide for Adults

When playing backyard sports, games or races with little kids, it is often suggested that adults self-handicap. This concept requires adults to give their kids an advantage so that they can triumph, teaching them that persistence pays off and good sportsmanship is crucial. However, not everyone agrees on the practice. Do adults think competing with small children and winning is cool or acceptable?

While some might argue that it is more appropriate to let kids win to build their confidence, excessive help can indeed hinder a child's development. When a child learns a new skill, it is not achieved overnight. It involves observation, concentration, and a series of wrong attempts. Let's explore how a child's learning process works, using the example of shape puzzles.

Learning Through Observation and Concentration

When a three-year-old child plays with simple shape puzzles, you might observe them making many mistakes. However, in these wrong attempts, they learn and gather valuable information. They notice differences in the shapes and understand that each shape has a specific place.

Once the child masters simple puzzles, they gain the confidence to tackle more complex ones. However, if an adult provides immediate help by telling them the correct placement, the child loses the opportunity to observe the nuances of the shapes. They might not learn about the number of sides of different shapes and the specific placement of each shape.

When faced with a more complex puzzle, a child who was not given the opportunity to learn through their mistakes might take longer to solve it. Teaching kids without allowing them to experience the process can deprive them of learning valuable skills and confidence.

The Significance of Even Playing Fields

Not everyone is equal in physical stature or skills. Adults should strive to create an even playing field for kids by getting down to their level. This shows respect and ensures fair play. When Pa wrestled with his children, he would get down on his knees to create an even playing field. Conversely, adults like Thomas, who use their physical advantage to take advantage of others, are seen as bullies and scumbags.

Encouraging Victory and Accomplishment

Allowing kids to see and feel victory and accomplishment is crucial for their growth. If we do not provide these experiences, we cannot expect great things from them. A child is not a true competitor; they need guidance and opportunities to learn and grow. In this country, there is often confusion about how we should handle these situations.

As adults, it is our responsibility to teach kids important life skills and values. By giving them an advantage, we help them build confidence and understand that they can overcome challenges when they put in effort. This approach fosters a positive mindset and promotes the values of sportsmanship and perseverance.