A Double Standard in Society: Why Female Abuse of Men Is Considered More Tolerable

It's indisputable that no one should ever be subjected to abuse. The recent Amber Heard trial has brought this issue to the forefront, highlighting the severity of the problem. It also underscores the growing concern over the double standard in how society views male-on-female and female-on-male abuse. However, the scandal surrounding Marilyn Manson and Evette Rice (EVR) brings further questions to the surface: why is male-on-female abuse seen as an abhorrent crime, while female-on-male abuse is often viewed as less serious or even humorous?

The Unfairness in Public Perception

I am deeply troubled by the widespread acceptance of female-on-male abuse, particularly when juxtaposed against the stringent condemnation of male-on-female assault. It is a clear demonstration of the double standard that women are sometimes treated with less severity, as if men bear all the moral responsibility in relationship dynamics. This perception might be rooted in traditional gender roles where men are expected to be the protectors and providers. Historically, even in the 1800s, men were held accountable for their wives' actions due to the societal construct of the male as the head of the household. Such roles have frequently perpetuated the notion of men as more reliable and responsible figures worth upholding in a family or community.

On the flip side, the idea of women as innocent beings needing protection has normalized their mistreatment. This notion can be traced back even before the rise of new feminism, as evidenced by historical accounts of women using items like rolling pins and frying pans in comedic scenarios, often portrayed for amusement rather than distress. Today, we see a slow but steady shift in awareness towards recognizing that any form of assault is unacceptable, regardless of the perpetrator's gender.

A Legal Perspective on Domestic Violence

Regardless of the public perception, any person who physically assaults another (excluding actual self-defense) in a domestic setting is a crime that warrants appropriate legal repercussions. These offenses can result in imprisonment and severe legal consequences. Men who are physically abused by women often find themselves in situations where their partners initiate violence, using it as a means to assert dominance. These situations can escalate, with the man attempting to defend himself, only for the abuser to then call the police. These scenarios, while often amusing to some, can be devastating for the individuals involved and their families.

As a law enforcement officer, I encountered many of these cases where women used excessive force due to their perception that their partners' superior physical strength allowed them to justify their actions. Upon investigation, it became evident that the women were not always truthful in their versions of events. Through careful questioning, the truth often came to light, revealing that the women saw hitting their partners as an acceptable form of discipline or reaction due to their perceived advantage in size and strength.

My Approach to Domestic Violence Cases

My approach to such cases was to arrest the first person responsible, regardless of their gender. However, when a person committed a second offense, I often took the children under the age of 18 into protective custody and entrusted them to social services, recognizing that they have a right to a safe environment. In some cases, I might also arrest one or both adults. The key point is that children are never treated as mere collateral in these high-conflict situations. Focusing on the wellbeing of children in domestic violence scenarios is paramount, given their vulnerability and the lasting impact such violence can have on their development.

It is important to remember that adults can make their own choices, but it is the responsibility of society to ensure that children are protected from any form of abuse. Taking these actions in domestic violence cases is not just about enforcement of the law; it's about promoting a better understanding of the issue and ensuring that all victims receive the support and justice they deserve.

Change in public perception and legal practices can only come about through comprehensive education and awareness. It is our collective duty to challenge and change the stereotypes that perpetuate harmful attitudes towards domestic violence.